My parents are coming for the weekend so I will be out showing them around.  I’m so excited!!!

Here are some pictures of Waldi in the snow last week.  Please notice the squirrel on the fence who is taunting him into the snow. Don’t judge me for using lawn chairs as a barrier.   Waldi is low to the ground and can fit underneath the fence.

(Click each picture to make them bigger)

Pointing Me On My Way by Settan Large

“When I was very young and the urge to be someplace else was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would cure this itch. When years described me as mature, the remedy prescribed was middle age. In the middle age I was assured that greater age would calm my fever and now that I am fifty-eight perhaps senility will do the job. Nothing has worked. Four hoarse blasts of a ships whistle still raise the hair on my neck and set my feet to tapping.” -John Steinbeck

I ache for the adventure and open road.  2010 will be a year of travel, even if it is only around the US. Who wants to go with me?

New Years Resolutions never work out too well for me.  So instead of setting myself up for failure, I’m going to try something new.  I’m making a list of 24 things I want to carry out in 2010.  Why 24?  This April,  I’ll be turning 24 and thinking of any more is too hard for the first day of the year.  Some of them are a bit extreme, but why not aim high.  It is a new decade after all.  You can track my progress over on the tab that says Twenty Four in 2010.  It will be a fantastic year!

  1. Go skydiving
  2. Visit 5 new cities
  3. Run a 5k
  4. Go to the gym/workout 5 days a week for a month
  5. Try 10 new foods
  6. Video blog 3 times (I hate the word ‘vlog’)
  7. Enroll Waldi in obedience classes
  8. Apply to 5 grad schools
  9. Take the GREs
  10. Have a No Spend Month
  11. Read 50 books
  12. Complete 5 sewing projects
  13. Participate in a CSA
  14. Visit a foreign country I haven’t been to yet
  15. Finish 5 knitting projects
  16. Get Lasik eye surgery
  17. Take 10 pictures I would frame
  18. Find a church in the area I like and go regularly
  19. Enter a photo contest
  20. Take scuba diving class
  21. Go sailing
  22. Go wine tasting
  23. Write a note or card to a friend once a month
  24. Meet 5 bloggers in real life that I admire

Bring it on 2010!

2009 was not my year, it was full of embarrassing and disastrous moments, but I would rather reminisce on the incredible ones. It’s when I brought Waldi home for the first time and  I started my lovely job in January. I fell in love with the city of San Francisco while Stephanie puppy-sat for a week in May.  Renee had a fantastic wedding in August where I meet some incrediblely cool bloggers. I started this blog where I can write whatever I want in December.

2010 will be my year, one way or another!

At work

Ever since high school I have wanted to become a nurse anesthetist.  The plan was to go to college for my bachelors in nursing, work in an ICU for 1 to 2 years, then go for my masters in anesthesia.  This is The Plan that got me through undergrad when I just didn’t think I could go on any more.  It got me through clinicals when my professor would make me cry regularly.  The Plan decided where I would work after graduation since I needed the experience in a large, trauma based ICU.

This January, I will have worked for 1 year in the ICU.  So according to The Plan the next step would be to start applying to grad schools, but that’s the problem.  I’m not applying and I’m not signing up to take the GREs and I’m not even looking.  This is very unlike me.  I’m a go-getter, not one to dilly dally or wait until the last-minute.  I should be over organizing each grad school into regions, rank, and degrees earned. All of which would be in a color coordinated spread sheet. Deadlines are passing me by and I don’t even bat an eye at them.

All of this made me think why?  Why am I not applying or at least looking?  Why haven’t I signed up for a GRE date or even started to seriously study for them?  Why am I standing still and pretending to go through the motions?  Am I afraid?  Afraid I won’t get into a good school, afraid I will let my parents down, or afraid I will fail?  I know these schools are incredibly competitive so not being accepted  the first time is not unheard of or even that rare.  My parents will be proud of anything I do and I know this.  As for failing, well I’ve already done that and lived so no big deal.

I feel the real reason I’m not jumping at grad schools is I don’t even know if that is what I still want.  High school was a long time ago and I have changed a great deal since then. Do I still want this career?  All the things I love about my current job will not carry over to a nurse anesthetist.  Am I ready to fork over $50,000 and 2 years of my life on something I might want to do? Are there other masters programs out there that I would like more? Would I be happier staying where I am?

Now, I have to figure out how and when to tell my parents that grad school is on hold.

Blogging shouldn’t  be a chore or something you force yourself to do, but somehow that is what it turned into for me.  Because my ex and his mom were reading my blog, I censored my writing taking away any real depth.  I knew I wasn’t being true to myself and I think my readers could tell too.  How can I write what I’m feeling when I have to look carefully at everything I type.

Writing in my old blog wasn’t for me anymore.  It was to make everything appear normal when it wasn’t.  Never again will I fret over what topics will offend certain individuals or will make me look anything less than perfect.  I’ll write what I am feeling when I feel it.

This blog is for me so here I am!

Welcome home!

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